Action
Briefing
Dec 2003 - Jan 2004
The Newsletter
of
Birmingham Friends of the
Earth
|
Action
Briefing |
|
|
|
|
The Newsletter
of |
Balls to the CBI!
As delegates arrived at Birmingham's ICC on Sunday 16th November for the annual conference of the Confederation of British Industry (CBI), the UK’s most powerful industry group, they were clearly trying not to notice Birmingham Friends of the Earth as we staged the World Unaccountability League Play-offs, a soccer 'mismatch' between big business and the rest of the world with the Earth as the hapless football.
Ten minutes into play, after some valiant defence by the Rest of the World, the Big Business team, who had been putting the boot into the inflatable planet football with gusto, implored the World Trade Organisation to have their opponents’ goalkeeper blindfolded and forced to play on his knees with his hands tied behind his back.
Commenting on the controversial decision, the Big Business team Captain (of Industry) said: “It’s clear that the goalkeeper's activities in the goal mouth constituted an unfair barrier to goals and that this decision will have improved our team's competitiveness considerably, to the benefit of all.
In response to accusations from angry Rest of the World supporters that the decision flouted the rules, Big Business commented:"Everyone's in favour of a rules-based approach to this game, none more so than us. But when the rules are so one-sided that Big Business finds itself not always coming out on top, something needs to change.”
Referee Martin Stride of Birmingham Friends of the Earth had been keeping a close eye on the Big Business players, handing out a unprecedented number of red cards. Big Business vehemently denied allegations of playing dirty: "Red cards? Red tape more like" said the Captain. "We favour a voluntary, market-driven approach to bookings. If we need the players, they should stay on. The decision to leave the pitch should be left to individual players themselves, not imposed from on high by a institutionalised, anti-business bureaucracy."
BBC's Planet Live football correspondent Brett “Motty” Rehling delivered his verdict on proceedings: "All the Big Business goals were very dubious and had a distinct offside flavour, but with the goalie and referee in their pocket the result was never in question."
Finally, the match was allowed to drag on well past injury time, prompting rumours among the hostile crowd that Big Business had taken the pea out of the Ref's whistle.
The final score: Big Business 10, The Rest of the World Nil.
Karen Leach and James Botham